3 more weeks to see my baby boy!

A #majorthrowback photo when my tummy is small ~

I can't wait to deliver, counting down each day as it gets closer. Really nervous and I start to ask around on natural delivery. Been doing tons of research on how the procedure is going to be. And I've no idea if I'm suppose to take epidural. But most of them actually tell me that it's gonna be very painful and for me, I'm someone that cannot handle pain!!!!

My appetite actually got better as my edd gets closer. And I'm really into junk food as long as it's with oreo or cookies and cream. Well it's almost the same. In another 2 more weeks, I'm gonna go for my very last visit before I prepare for my delivery. Can't believe how fast time actually flies and I guess I will miss being a preggy.

As I mention, I will be updating more on marriage life as compared to dating.

I'm not very experienced in marriage but at least I can feel the difference between just being boyfriend girlfriend and being husband and wife.

DATING VS MARRIED

Most of you actually think that if you can tolerate everything your boyfriend or girlfriend does when you are together means you can actually handle your marriage well. You're wrong. Being just together and being together forever is a totally different thing. Yes, some may say that you stay almost everyday or probably everyday with your boyfriend or girlfriend just like her husband or his wife but in actual fact you're still under the status as girlfriend and boyfriend. You don't have to stress about the life ahead of you guys at all. Because if something goes wrong, by just calling off the relationship can solve the entire issue. But it doesn't goes like this in marriage.

You start facing your partner everyday of your life, start noticing more, start getting frustrated when there's too much time or too little time together. Quarrels tend to kick in more often and soon either one of you will feel so sick and tired of everything and bomb, there goes your marriage.

Well, during dating you receive tons of sweet and long messages from him/her saying 'awww i miss you so much hun.' and you start to get use to it. Both guys and girls please. NOT JUST GIRLS.

And you have complete freedom to do anything you like, go out with anyone you want to and have totally no responsibilities back at home because you have your parents to actually support (be it money, a roof, whatsoever) you. You can meet your partner everyday, thrice a week, it's all up to you.

You don't have in-laws issues, you don't have to take care of the bills at home only perhaps your own mobile phone bills, you don't even have to take care of a kid. That's how relax when you're dating.

Now, if you realise why most people nowadays would rather choose to date and not get married?

Too many people are calling off their marriages because they realise they couldn't take how their life changes after they started facing each other everyday. It turns out to be so different.

You no longer receive long morning or night messages, no longer telling each other how much you miss each other (ya you used to say that when you just saw him/her like a min ago), how much you love each other and how much you guys wanna see each other. 

ALL GONE.

Not all marriages end up this way, those who are really really in love and have perfect marriages, to be really honest I envy them a lot. So understanding, so perfect just like any other fairytale stories but you'll never know their actual stories behind so don't even judge people because you might never know what's their actual story and you might end up facing the issue yourself next time.

Even marriages have their honeymoon period, but well most of them don't. Because you face the person long enough to actually have that honeymoon feeling. Honestly, why people get so mushy when they just started dating it's because it's fresh that's all. When I scroll through my instagram and twitter everyday seeing sweet couples / married couples, I often think back why can't I be like them. I'm not trying to say I have a bad marriage but well everyone will never be contented with what they actually have and I'm still learning how to be happy with what God actually gave to me.

I am a very sensitive person so I take everything very seriously. Words can hurt me quite deep and I will definitely remember every single hurtful words you said to me before. And that's definitely not a good thing because who on earth doesn't speak anger words when they are having an argument? Well, I don't really say something that I don't mean most of the time because I know my own character. If I really feel that way, I will definitely say it out. 

And something really important in a relationship, ALWAYS THINK BEFORE YOU ACT.

Don't say things like you wanna break up/you no longer love your partner/you're sick of your partner/you got bored loving them/so on and so on.......

BECAUSE PEOPLE TEND TO GET HURT AND REMEMBER IT REALLY CLEARLY.

It's ok if you accidentally say it once or twice but if you say it too many times people tend to get sick of it and take it real even if you don't mean it and one of the many reasons why couples end up leaving each other is also because of this.

Many asked about how I actually feel about my marriage. Basically I have no comments because I'm actually mentally prepared that I will face all the changes and I will have to adapt to it slowly. I don't have a very good temper but I can tolerate. Although my husband have very bad temper but I know he does care inside and really shower me with love. No one is perfect, we can have huge arguments and end up ignoring each other but at the end of the day we can never stay mad for too long. Yes, he has very high ego therefore when we quarrel he always say things that hurt so mf-ing badly but well, I know him for too long to actually even stop caring for him even if he always hurt me with his words.

No one's perfect, but don't ever take this as an excuse to actually take your partner for granted. They care because you mean a lot to them so OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE WHO'S TRUE TO YOU AND WHO JUST WANNA TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU.

Or just listen to people that actually sees it because you're blinded sometimes.........

After explaining how I feel about marriage, I'm only looking forward to my baby son that's arriving in just 3 weeks time. I just can't wait to see him. And as a mother, I will definitely give him the best I can and protect him in anyways possible. It's even different when there's a kid at home. No longer just the both of you. So stay tune if you wanna know more about how life changes so fast that humans normally couldn't adapt fast enough.

xoxo