28th day being a mom.

Haven't been blogging recently as I've not much time on the internet after giving birth to baby Kayleb. And yes, that's his name! Ended confinement 2 days back and I feel so good washing my hair after being a good girl during confinement. I've survived on dry shampoo throughout my whole confinement period. I shower once a week but I do clean myself every single day and I swear the 26 days of confinement almost killed me. I've not been having enough rest due as I didn't hire any confinement lady to help me during that period but I'm glad to have my mother-in-law to help look after my baby for me.

I've no experience in babies and I'm really afraid of handling one actually. Especially new born babies. Gosh they are so fragile and you have to be really really gentle with them. But sometimes you get so frustrated due to insufficient rest and when you baby starts crying for no reason and just refuses to stop. I've faced that many times at night and I have to carry him and make sure he sleeps soundly before I get my rest and by the time it's already 7am in the morning. I'm glad that he wakes up every 3 hours for milk instead of 2 and at least I get about 1 hour of rest before he starts crying for milk again? Well during confinement period, we really need a lot of rest as our body is still very weak due to delivery. And I honestly hate confinement food!!! Imagine eating almost the same dish everyday?! I'm really glad it's over. Phew.

Talking about feeding your baby, I tried breastfeeding him for about 2-3 weeks and realise I don't have enough supply of milk for him and actually stopped. Different mummies have different supply of milk okkkkk! It's good to breastfeed but too bad I don't have enough for the baby to feel full by just drinking breast milk. It's really very tiring waking up every few hours to pump the milk and especially when you don't have enough supply of milk. You need to pump even longer to get enough to store for the baby.

It's not easy being a young mom.

Due to lack of experience, you get frustrated very easily and start complaining a lot. Questions like 'why the f did I choose this?!' or things like regretting being a young mom oftens pop up in your mind. Girls have very bad control of their emotions when it comes to confinement period and I have no idea why. If you don't manage well, you might even suffer from post-natal depression. Well, I'm not perfect. I faced very bad emotional changes during my confinement period but I hate to show. I've always kept my feelings to myself and that's something really bad about me. I start to think a lot, and even get really paranoid over small issues. Especially during the night when I'm really tired yet I'm up feeding my baby, that's when my mood starts to get very bad due to the tiredness. But afterall, I enjoyed being a mummy up till today. Everyone complains but when you see the smile on your son's face, it's all worth it.

There's so much more to say but I'll blog about it soon.

Time to get some rest before the next feeding time!

xx